Week 12

This week we learned about divorce, marriage and blended families. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miracles that can happen in no other way.”  I know that at one point I wanted my parents to get a divorce; they didn’t which is good. I have seen relatives that have children and their spouse has died, so they would get married to someone else that had already had children as well. For some it works out and others it doesn’t. My one cousin married for the third time and they have together ten kids and one of their very own. I think it helps if the families are able to get along before the parents get married. After they are married I think that it takes a lot of tolerance as President Hinckley said so that we can at first tolerate and then come to love each new sibling. Along with tolerance, forgiveness is important because at first the new blended family won’t be used to what the other does, so they would need to learn to forgive as they go along learning and begin to mesh together. Forgiveness is important things, but it is more important in the family because you are with your family for the rest of your life. It is important to get along with them, as well as have a good relationship, so that as your future family grows they will be close to their cousins and other relatives.

Week 11

This week we talked about parenting. The three most important words that you can ever say to your child are, "I love you."

President Thomas S. Monson said, “To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood you need more than your own wisdom in rearing them.”

Growing up in a large family it was harder to show how we felt. As a child I remember after early morning family scripture study and prayer I would get up and walk over to where dad was sitting on the couch and say bye just before he left for work. I would give him a hug and a kiss and say, “I love you”. Dad would do the same to me and reply with, “love you too kiddo.” After a few years of growing up I was about to go into high school, and I wouldn’t do this anymore. Years had passed since I had done this as he left for work; it was often said, “Bye dad! Love you!” as he would walk out the door each morning. A lot of things changed from when I was a child and did so much with dad like working on the cars by handing him specific wrenches and tools to eating popcorn while watching a movie together and falling asleep in his lap. When I got older I hardly ever heard him say those words to me. Even though it was rarely heard, he was able to say it to me when I needed it most.

I think that it is important to tell your children that you love them, as well as show it in some way. It is important for them to know of the love you have for them when they are young as well as their journey throughout the rest of their lives. As parents we need to show we care and love our children, but we shouldn't be over-bearing.

Week 10

This week we talked in class about the role of a father and how important it is to have a father in the lives of children in the home and it really hit home for me. I really liked how Brother Williams started out by sharing statistics, and then went into how it is important from a religious perspective and then you had us talk about how we can get our families working together early on. I know that from personal experience that having my dad there all the time really helped me out because I was able to learn so many things from him. For example, hard work; we worked together as a family every weekend and sometimes we loved it and sometimes we didn’t, but we were able to learn from our parents. Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the twelve apostles said, “Work together as a family even if you are able to get it done quicker yourself.” Going back to working together as a family every weekend… Dad knew a lot and he often had to teach us how to do things even if he could get it done quicker by himself. He taught us last four girls how to change the oil on a car, even though it took twice as long. He taught us how to rotate tires on the vehicles, he taught us how to take care of the yard and assigned jobs such as mowing; he often timed us because he said he could do it faster. He taught us what service was and helped us reach out to our neighbors, young and old, to prune their trees, or mow their lawns. We had an elderly widow woman that lived across the street from us growing up and mom and dad had us going over to her house at least three times a week just to talk to her and see how she was doing and help her with things that need to be done that she couldn’t do on her own. The four of us girls would go over every Friday after school or Saturday morning and mow her front and back yard, and she would come out and watch us laugh and giggle as we took care of her yard. She even let us plant a garden in her backyard, so as a family we did the prep work, planted, and took care of the garden we had planted. Through these experiences our dad was there, and was willing to help when we needed it. Having a father in the home is important for a child’s growth. Without that connection of a father a child misses out on a lot. I think it is important to have a father in the home because it has helped me in my life.

Week 9

This week we had a class discussion on anger which was really eye opening to me. I think it’s so true what you said about anger in our families. Brother Williams said something along these lines, “We learn from our fathers that it is ok to be angry with those we love but no one else.” I think that it is so true. I know growing up in my home we weren’t allowed to be angry and when we were dad would somehow make us laugh it off. In public we weren’t allowed to show much either. Mom never got angry, and when she did it was more of I’m upset because I shouldn’t feel this way; it was never I’m upset because of you and what you did. We also talked about if it was possible to be angry and not sin. I thought that was interesting and I liked how you tied in grace, edify, and venting into this class, and how nothing good comes from venting; which I also think is pretty spot on.

One of the class lessons that I will definitely implement in my future home is the discussion we had on family council. In my family we had family home evening and if there were things that needed to be talked about, it was then that that happened; but it was never this is what we need to talk about, it was always what dad says goes, and that is how it was run. I think that getting each child’s opinion and input on a subject is important because it allows a child to think for themselves as well as practice their speaking skills in a group of people. There were times when dad would ask what we thought, but we hardly ever felt like we could really say without being criticized for thinking that way so we never really spoke up. I think family council is important, because it allows for an open discussion if done right and opinions can be voiced and then as a family you can make a final decision together.